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I think my perception of fear may fall under the catagory of bi-polar. Sometimes I am scared, sometimes I am not and most of the time the fazes lean toward the extreme.
As most of you already know, Andy has been out of town for a couple weeks while he is learning to drive a truck. Yeah it suprises me too. Anyway, it is one of those things he thinks will be stable for him until I finish school. And, I can't fault him for thinking that way. He really does a great job at being head of household even when it means being on the road for awhile.
With Andy being gone, I have been in paranoia mode. It's not like I should be scared to be alone. Shoot, I did it for 3 years before he moved here to NY. Why all the sudden? It is bad though. I can't fall asleep at night so, I have to stay up real late trying to get as tired as I can. Just before bed, I boobie trap the stairs, and block my bedroom door, and sleep with the phone under my pillow with a flash light. I do such a good job at boobie trapping the stairs, no burglar stands a chance! ha.
Anyway, last week I absentmindedly, mentioned to a neighbor that Andy was out of town. Opps! I'm already scared enough, now the neighbors know. I tried to recover by telling them that before Andy left he was given strick instructions on not comming home without making sure I know. If he suprises me, I.m likely to shoot him.
The neighbors gave me look that said "Hey, I believe you, and I will spread the news". Now, at least if there is a rumor about me being home alone, it goes with the fact that I sleep with a gun under my pillow.
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8 comments:
I didn't know he was driving a truck! Does he like it? How long is his training going to take?
Hopefully you're safe. I've gotten used to living by myself, and making sure both doors are locked. But if I stay at someone else's house, like I did last week, I get a little bit scared!
I'm not usually scared to be home alone, but while Todd was in DC for 3 days, I put Anthony's crib in my room with me. Not to make it easier on me, but so that no one would break in and kidnap him.
I guess being an only child left me with genes that prevent that fear although one night I almost called 911. What prevented my doing it is that I knew one of the town police person's (I must be politically correct here) and I did not want to be embarrassed. I'd heard a noise (probably mice in the attic) as the dog didn't even flinch and she's great as a watchdog.
I would think having your neighbors know that your husband is away is a good thing as they'll be more of the lookout for you and your daughter.
Do you have a dog? Mine is little but boy do Dachshunds have a deep, loud bark and a would-be burgular would not know that she is 15 pounds of teeth and muscle.
I do have a phone next to me but of course a burgular would first cut the phone lines before entering the house. Fortunately I don't live in a mac mansion in a pricey housing neighborhood so the pickings would not be great in my neighborhood.
I think one reason that you could be afraid is that you are the sole person responsible for your daughter when your husband is away on business.
Calvin and Carl always keep me from getting spooked. They are awesome watchdogs.
Reading your post reminded me of Natalie. Remember when she used to lock her bedroom door and then put her shoes by her bed with her keys and her cellphone in them and she always pointed them the right direction so she could throw them on and RUN? Out the window, I guess? You two are two crazy peas in a pod sometimes.
Truck driver? Yes, I'm surprised, but only because you didn't say a think about it when we talked on the phone.
Maybe Adam will let you borrow one of his...but I don't think they would fit under your pillow!
Stay safe!
P.S. What kind of driving does he want to do? I have an uncle who drives a truck.
I can soo relate, it's so hard to sleep at night when your all alone. That's why I have a big dog. I couldn't be home alone during the day without Walter without getting scared. We really do have guns though, and Adam makes me shoot them so I'm not afraid of them, believe me, don't come in my house unannounced at night, unless you want to die. I'm not afraid to protect myself. The scariest part would be steping over someone I shot to get out...thats creepy. I hope I never have to shoot anyone.
I'm sorry. I used to feel like you do for a long time. I just really had to give it to God. Oh and I sleep with the tv on so I don't hear all of the outside noises. Both have really, really helped.
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